being a stay at home mom....

i'll be honest. i don't really like being a stay at home mom as much as i thought i would. maybe i'll enjoy it once E is a little older and we can go places & enjoy doing things together but right now, it's not all i thought it'd be.

i am so grateful that i do get to stay home and watch him grow up, and see all his "firsts" because believe me, thinking of someone else seeing those makes me sick to my stomach. but it's not all fun & games. it's poopy diapers, fighting nap time, getting puked on, having hair ripped out of your head, a sometimes messy house that of course, drives me insane, and crying for no reason.

even though it's all those really bad not so fun things, it's also really rewarding. those smiles i get first thing in the morning melt my heart, seeing him light up when i walk into a room is the best. and of course, the kisses....the big sloppy wet kisses.

as much as i don't really want him to grow up, i'm looking forward to next summer. he'll be a year old and so i think we'll be able to go out and have a lot more fun together. i'm looking forward to the pool, the library, the park.

we went to the park yesterday since it was pretty nice out. he had so much fun. i put him in a swing & he was just giggling and laughing the whole time. he LOVED it. those are the things that make being a stay at home mom worth it. those times remind me why i wanted to do this in the first place. some days when he's super cranky, i think to myself...oh i could go back to work...that would be great! but i'd hate missing all the cute little faces, sounds he makes, and watching him learn something new every day.

so sometimes, as much as he drives me batty some days, i wouldn't trade my job for the world.