my sister

so, as you guys may know, i've never been close to my sister. we are night and day. complete opposites. i'm the happy go lucky, glass is half full one, and she's the miserable, glass is half empty, i'm going to blame all my bad decisions on every one else.

well, just recently, my sister got married to a guy named lorin. lorin is a decent enough guy, but he's like 3 years younger than my mom. weird, right? i mean, i guess if george clooney were to come knock, knock, knockin' on my door and ask me to marry him, i'd probably say HELLZ YEAH! (of course, only if i weren't already married) ...but i digress.

so, anyway, here's a little background on my sister's previous marriage to wes. he was/is a loser. L-7 WEENIE to say the least. basically he got them in debt so bad they had to declare bankruptcy. bad deal. after they divorced, my sister SWORE to my mom & i that she'd never end up w/ anyone who had financial problems again.

she was wrong.

lorin was previously married, has two kids (one who is around our age....) and i guess he's got some debt from his divorce still. there are liens out in his name, which means they're garnishing his wages until he pays them off, i suppose.

this was all okay & not really my sister's problem until...you guess it, they got married. now obviously, these debts are going to be on her as well. not so smart, sister!

i'm more upset that she decided to do this because of the kids. they were on state health care because my sister didn't make enough, so she was getting assistance. now, i'm assuming that they make enough between the both of them not to qualify for health care for the kids anymore.

i just don't understand her thought process. they've already been living together for 3 years, why all of a sudden decide to get married? oh, and i forgot to mention, they eloped. she called my mom & said, surprise, we got married! my poor mom was so caught off guard that her congrats didn't sound sincere at all.

anyway, this past year, my sister has said and done some really hurtful things to me. for example, while i was pregnant she told me that she thought pregnant women were ugly and that men don't think they're attractive {thankfully steve was there & told her off}. and up until elliot was born, she hadn't talked to me since christmas. {that's 3 months.} i'm over her.

is it wrong for me to just kind of "wash my hands" of her? she doesn't enrich my life in any way. i know she's my sister and all. but i don't enjoy spending time w/ her. she never has anything positive to say. and i can't stand the way she uses/treats my parents.

god has really blessed me with the best sister in law i could ask for. so in a way, i feel like betsy kind of replaces my own sister. she's more of a sister to me. she was w/ me all day while i was in labor, held my hand while they were putting the catheter in {grossss!}, has always been there to talk to when i needed her, and just a really great friend in general. i love being with her. i would honestly call her one of my best friends.

but anyway, this post is horribly long and probably just really difficult to follow. i have tons of thoughts floating in my head and they don't make much sense.

but i guess what i'm really wanting to know is, do you think it's bad that i don't really consider her my sister? i feel kind of guilty about it. i just don't know how to make our relationship better. she's so difficult to get close to {i've tried & tried so many times} when is it okay to give up?

mer

Use Your Words

I need to start by saying, I am very insecure of my writing. I never want to sound or look dumb. I am not into using big words, I sometimes forget when comas, semicolons, and colons are used. I have run on and incomplete sentences all the time. It doesn't help that I have many people around me who write well.

When I journal to myself I don't care and I don't worry if anybody will read it. When I know someone might read what I write, I freak out. There have been many emails, cards, letters that I have torn up and thrown away. I have deleted comments and status updates on fb for fear of not sounding stupid. I have a hard time getting out what I am thinking into writing. I tend to write everything like I am talking to a girlfriend at coffee. When I need to write something professional I freak out some more.

With that said, I want you guys to bear with me as I post here on CircleOFriends. I have a lot I would like to share and say, but it might take me many attempts to find the time to sit down and type before I actually post. Its hard for me to hear people comment on my writing so if it is brought up at all just be gentle.

Within the last couple of days I have had conversations that have been deeper than the average joe convos, encouraging, positive, and I consider some breakthroughs. I laid in bed last night looking at the power of words/conversations. Words formed together have made up many beautifully stories, powerful movies, motivating speeches etc. Words are the way we communicate to one another. We need them to have relationships, we need them to pretty much get anywhere in life.

What about those people that can't say or use words? For those who are deaf rely on a language completely out of signing with their hands....I think thats incredible! Then there are people who have the ability to think and feel but can't speak at all for themselves...(I am thinking of people who have severe conditions, disorders, or diseases.) I just can't imagine what that would be like. Would you want someone you love to know their loved but you can't talk. Do you have an itch but you can't scratch it or tell someone else to help you.

My point is that we are very fortunate to be able to use words. My next thoughts are a collection of questions: what do we say with our words? are they positive words? Are the negative words? Do you use our words to honestly express what we think and feel? Are there times we shouldn't use our words? Are there times where we should have used our words to express something but for reasons held back? What will be our last words? Do we take time reading words that are informational, challenging, funny, beautiful, sad, historic, etc? What do you say with your words?

Words are very powerful and the power lies in our hands to use them. May your words build up the people around you instead of tearing down. May your words convey honesty, sincerity, and may they be genuine. May your words express love. May your words express praise. May your words be kind.

Last night I was pondering all these things and thought I would use my words to share with you guys. Just think, many parents teach their little ones, "use your words!" in the first two years of their life. Though I am 24 years past that, I am still reminded and feel blessed to be able to use my words.

Love you all,

Jules

Real Hip Hop

This is one of my favorites of all time. Featuring the wu-tang a local favorite.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgBCh1Wpb9c

So You Think You Can Dance is my favorite show. I wish I could dance like they do.

But my favorite dance ever on the show was a contemporary piece....check it out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhrxfHCtMJA&feature=related

And so you can see me dancing check this one out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6XJVyn9x5BI

-Kath

and that's what makes it hip hop...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6oVjX2EJQI

*m

Shout OUT

To all who are no longer in Missouri....oh how you miss us so....

4 month check-up

Little Elliot had his 4 month check up today!

He's 25.5 inches long & 15.5 lbs! He's in the 60% for height & 75% for weight.

Dr. Wheeler said he looked great and that we were doing a good job. {Of course, we already knew that}

*Mer

I love it!

Brilliant idea in my book.
Here's a funny. I dream a lot. The other day I had a dream that Suzy and I were driving in a golf cart. We were at some sort of camp. Suzy was driving. We were headed down this curving road that was going downhill. I'm not sure where it emptied out. Anyway, Suzy is driving pedal to the metal. I keep yelling at her to slow down or the thing is gonna flip. Does she listen to me???? NO! Well what do you know....a black bear starts chasing after us. He is fast and he is mean. We keep dodging him until we hit a curve. On the other side of this curve is a pool. The cart goes right into the pool along with the bear. I start frantically swimming to the edge to get out and try to outrun this bear. Just as I am reaching the edge and the bear is right at my toes the dream ends.
What does it all mean? Who is the black bear?

Katie...aka Kath

gett'n sum

~suz

{first post}

just wanted to let all of you girls know that i love you all very much and i am so thankful that you've been put in my life! i couldn't ask for better friends.

....well, maybe i could ask for someone better to replace suzy, but hey, you take what you can get. :)