Hey Girls

Hey!

So, not much has been going on in my little world lately. Just making sure little E man is fed, clothed & happy.

Christmas was great! We had a good time w/ our families and of course, celebrating our first Christmas as a little family of three.

Lately, I've been feelin' a little down. I'm just really struggling with being a stay at home mom. There never seems enough time in the day to do everything I'd like to do, or take time for myself. If I go somewhere, I typically take Elliot with me. I'm trying to be better about leaving him home with Steve. But whenever I'm at the store by myself, I just feel weird without him and generally don't enjoy myself.

I really feel like I'm losing my identity in a way. Now instead of being "Merideth", I'm "wife and mom". Not that those things aren't great identities to have. I love being both! I went out by myself the other day and I was just really sad that I didn't feel "myself" without having Elliot with me. I just wanted to stop and tell people, "Hey, I have a baby!" I just felt weird that people didn't know I was a mom. Obviously, if you look at my left hand, you can tell I'm married. But I don't have any type of marker to wear (other than my saggy boobs and belly) that I'm a mom. But even at that, people could just think I'm fat since they don't know I have a baby! :)

I got pretty angry and just didn't know how I let my identity get lost in the shuffle. I guess it's easy to do when you're providing constant care for a little one, and trying to maintain your marriage, keep up on housework, and prepare meals for everyone.

So, my goal this year is to find myself again. Find things I like to do, OUTSIDE of my marriage, and my role as a mom.

If you think about it, just say a little prayer for me!

Love you all!
Mer